Praying was not always easy for me and hardly felt like the natural thing to want to do. I hardly ever knew what to say, nor 'how' to say it. I used to get distracted easily. I couldn't pray as long and as fervently as I thought my circumstances required in order to get God's attention. I wasn't always sure if I was praying with pure motives either as sometimes I'd allow myself to become aware of other thoughts and desires lingering in the background of the words I found myself saying. It really wasn't an enjoyable thing for me to do. I felt completely inept at it, and I never really thought of it as being communion with the Lord, nor did I know it should be. It was just a one-sided dutiful or desperate monologue, depending on what my circumstances were at that time.
The most difficult challenge I had ever faced was in attempting to pray for other people. For a long time I really didn't pray for others with my heart, if I ever dared to attempt it. I remember thinking at one time that the Lord must understand that I had so many problems in my own life that I needed to put all my focus into praying for myself. How skewed was my thinking and my understanding! Unless my own life was in some way affected by the circumstance of another I couldn't find enough motivation or sincerity or fervency to pray for someone else. I don't think I was simply very wicked or uncaring, but I really didn't understand nor know the Lord much. I had not allowed Him to fill me with His love and compassion for others. Sometimes I just felt overwhelmed by the number of things in the world that needed to be prayed for and by the minute by minute sins that needed to be confessed. Sometimes prayer never even occured to me as a first resort. Or else seemingly unanswered prayers brought to the surface questions of faith and seemed to say "If you're prayers are not answered even when you were sure you had all that faith, the great possibility of more unanswered prayer will simply confirm that.Why try it again? " I knew I was supposed to pray but didn't know how. I remember trying to pray. Kneeling, laying down, wondering if my posture mattered; eyes open, eyes closed, wondering if my visual focus mattered; wondering how in the world to remember to pray for everything else and everyone else in the world. I remember even making written lists as some suggested and it all still never really worked for me.
Clearly, I was struggling with many issues in my spiritual life. I didn't know God very much at all. And a very religious/legalistic perspective on prayer was all I ever knew as examples in my own life. There was a lot of emphasis on form, flow, and quota without a passionate and sincere abandonment of matters to the Lord. Breakthrough in prayer came for me when I began to be severely broken by the circumstances that occured in my own life with which the Lord released an increasing measure of compassion in my heart. I would hear of other's heartbreaks, and disappointments, of sicknesses and other trials, and think, "Lord, I remember!" I would see people about to make the mistakes I had also made and would think, "Lord, I remember!" I continued to ask for compassion, for help and leading in prayer, and I started to admit to the Lord the times I didn't reach out to others and failed to please Him in this.
Transformation of my prayer life continued when I began to earnestly desire to know the Lord more. And that's what it's all about, relationship with God. I finally began to learn about two-way communication, that it was truly possible. I would be 'compelled' to seek the Lord on many enigmatic things He started to reveal to me and He, mercifully and wisely, caused me to have to search them out. Then there came times that I was quite frankly amazed to find myself praying fervently for others because it was so contrary to my own nature even as I started to allow the Lord to use me as an intercessor.
Over time I had completely broken away from religious prayer and I think it noteworthy to mention another development in my life that perhaps more than anything else revolutionized my prayers. This came about when it finally sunk into my heart, and for the first time I had truly understood in my spirit, that 'God the Father' was my own Father! This was no mere reckoning to me. This was like the ripping away of a shroud that had restricted me for a very long time to a position of knowing Jesus merely as a bridge to God but not fully understanding that He had reconciled me to God as Father, bringing me into the position of a beloved and adopted son. In much earlier years I remember distinctly feeling that Jesus was a kindly interface with a God who represented a stern body of commandments and couldn't really be intimately and personally interested in me as an individual. Jesus seemed to say, "He's really not that bad once you get to know Him" as I related to God the Father tentatively on that premise. How much I missed out on!
There are still times today where I feel I have run out of words when I'm praying but now I ask the Holy Spirit to take over entirely. I ask the Holy Spirit to lead me to pray for whatever is on God's heart. I no longer try to pray for everything at the same time, or by using a list, but I yield myself to the leading of the Holy Spirit, trusting that He will put in my heart and mouth the words I need, and extend to me the fervency He feels. Sometimes I let myself take a break, that is, to just shut up and wait. Then I worship and praise the Lord speaking words that are true in my heart even when there is no euphoric feeling attached to it. At other times I find myself singing a 'new song' just using words that come as I think about the Lord and all He's done for me, much like the Psalmist David did I'm sure. And I have learnt that I can never say "Thank You Lord", "I praise You Lord", "I worship You Lord", "I love You Lord" enough! I have seemed to run out of prayer request words but never out of praise words because they can't be repeated too many times. This from a sincere heart is also prayer! Communicating our adoration of Him to Himself and all of heaven, with the understanding that He also knows the things we have need of understand right where we are at.
Prayer is complex and beautiful. Its complexity is not in its form or method, but in what it accomplishes and how many wonderful things it can release us into. As we come to know the Lord more and continuously seek Him, it becomes even easier and even more enjoyable. The Lord becomes the Lord of our life in both sunshine and storm, and 'just because'. We just want to be with Him more and more and so prayer becomes a conscientious meeting between the Almighty God and ourselves.When we pray with a sincere heart we have the full attention of Father, Son, and Spirit. Angels are released many times to particular assignments as they too stand around to hear the orders of the Lord as we pray His will. Demonic and satanic strategies are torn down and thwarted. Lives are changed as promises are activated by declarations of faith. We find comfort and refuge, refreshment, strength and joy in His presence.... When I began to understand some of these things I found myself at times just ending my prayers by saying something like, "Thank You Lord for spending this time with me, and for the understanding that You have always wanted and loved to!"
My hope is that as you read this, you too will be inspired to pursue the Lord even more in conscientious meeting times of prayer, praise, worship, and intercession. The important thing is to lay your heart bare before Him, starting honestly from wherever you are spiritually. Understand that He desires your friendship with you and that you come to greater depths of knowing and loving Him. He will undoubtedly teach you the power of prayer as you yield your willingness.
The most difficult challenge I had ever faced was in attempting to pray for other people. For a long time I really didn't pray for others with my heart, if I ever dared to attempt it. I remember thinking at one time that the Lord must understand that I had so many problems in my own life that I needed to put all my focus into praying for myself. How skewed was my thinking and my understanding! Unless my own life was in some way affected by the circumstance of another I couldn't find enough motivation or sincerity or fervency to pray for someone else. I don't think I was simply very wicked or uncaring, but I really didn't understand nor know the Lord much. I had not allowed Him to fill me with His love and compassion for others. Sometimes I just felt overwhelmed by the number of things in the world that needed to be prayed for and by the minute by minute sins that needed to be confessed. Sometimes prayer never even occured to me as a first resort. Or else seemingly unanswered prayers brought to the surface questions of faith and seemed to say "If you're prayers are not answered even when you were sure you had all that faith, the great possibility of more unanswered prayer will simply confirm that.Why try it again? " I knew I was supposed to pray but didn't know how. I remember trying to pray. Kneeling, laying down, wondering if my posture mattered; eyes open, eyes closed, wondering if my visual focus mattered; wondering how in the world to remember to pray for everything else and everyone else in the world. I remember even making written lists as some suggested and it all still never really worked for me.
Clearly, I was struggling with many issues in my spiritual life. I didn't know God very much at all. And a very religious/legalistic perspective on prayer was all I ever knew as examples in my own life. There was a lot of emphasis on form, flow, and quota without a passionate and sincere abandonment of matters to the Lord. Breakthrough in prayer came for me when I began to be severely broken by the circumstances that occured in my own life with which the Lord released an increasing measure of compassion in my heart. I would hear of other's heartbreaks, and disappointments, of sicknesses and other trials, and think, "Lord, I remember!" I would see people about to make the mistakes I had also made and would think, "Lord, I remember!" I continued to ask for compassion, for help and leading in prayer, and I started to admit to the Lord the times I didn't reach out to others and failed to please Him in this.
Transformation of my prayer life continued when I began to earnestly desire to know the Lord more. And that's what it's all about, relationship with God. I finally began to learn about two-way communication, that it was truly possible. I would be 'compelled' to seek the Lord on many enigmatic things He started to reveal to me and He, mercifully and wisely, caused me to have to search them out. Then there came times that I was quite frankly amazed to find myself praying fervently for others because it was so contrary to my own nature even as I started to allow the Lord to use me as an intercessor.
Over time I had completely broken away from religious prayer and I think it noteworthy to mention another development in my life that perhaps more than anything else revolutionized my prayers. This came about when it finally sunk into my heart, and for the first time I had truly understood in my spirit, that 'God the Father' was my own Father! This was no mere reckoning to me. This was like the ripping away of a shroud that had restricted me for a very long time to a position of knowing Jesus merely as a bridge to God but not fully understanding that He had reconciled me to God as Father, bringing me into the position of a beloved and adopted son. In much earlier years I remember distinctly feeling that Jesus was a kindly interface with a God who represented a stern body of commandments and couldn't really be intimately and personally interested in me as an individual. Jesus seemed to say, "He's really not that bad once you get to know Him" as I related to God the Father tentatively on that premise. How much I missed out on!
There are still times today where I feel I have run out of words when I'm praying but now I ask the Holy Spirit to take over entirely. I ask the Holy Spirit to lead me to pray for whatever is on God's heart. I no longer try to pray for everything at the same time, or by using a list, but I yield myself to the leading of the Holy Spirit, trusting that He will put in my heart and mouth the words I need, and extend to me the fervency He feels. Sometimes I let myself take a break, that is, to just shut up and wait. Then I worship and praise the Lord speaking words that are true in my heart even when there is no euphoric feeling attached to it. At other times I find myself singing a 'new song' just using words that come as I think about the Lord and all He's done for me, much like the Psalmist David did I'm sure. And I have learnt that I can never say "Thank You Lord", "I praise You Lord", "I worship You Lord", "I love You Lord" enough! I have seemed to run out of prayer request words but never out of praise words because they can't be repeated too many times. This from a sincere heart is also prayer! Communicating our adoration of Him to Himself and all of heaven, with the understanding that He also knows the things we have need of understand right where we are at.
Prayer is complex and beautiful. Its complexity is not in its form or method, but in what it accomplishes and how many wonderful things it can release us into. As we come to know the Lord more and continuously seek Him, it becomes even easier and even more enjoyable. The Lord becomes the Lord of our life in both sunshine and storm, and 'just because'. We just want to be with Him more and more and so prayer becomes a conscientious meeting between the Almighty God and ourselves.When we pray with a sincere heart we have the full attention of Father, Son, and Spirit. Angels are released many times to particular assignments as they too stand around to hear the orders of the Lord as we pray His will. Demonic and satanic strategies are torn down and thwarted. Lives are changed as promises are activated by declarations of faith. We find comfort and refuge, refreshment, strength and joy in His presence.... When I began to understand some of these things I found myself at times just ending my prayers by saying something like, "Thank You Lord for spending this time with me, and for the understanding that You have always wanted and loved to!"
My hope is that as you read this, you too will be inspired to pursue the Lord even more in conscientious meeting times of prayer, praise, worship, and intercession. The important thing is to lay your heart bare before Him, starting honestly from wherever you are spiritually. Understand that He desires your friendship with you and that you come to greater depths of knowing and loving Him. He will undoubtedly teach you the power of prayer as you yield your willingness.
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