I attended the wedding of a long time friend yesterday. We've known each other for 18 years already. I had the privilege of being the one who 'took' her to church with me about 9 years ago, and was seated next to her at church just a short 9 months later or so, when she nudged me and told me she felt she needed to accept the invitation to enter a relationship with God through Christ. She wanted to know what I thought she should do. I let her know that she would be entering into a relationship, not a religion, and that she needed to be personally convinced. She was. And she did. And the rest as they say is history. It's been a long time since then now. A few months after she was saved I moved on from that church so, yesterday, it was such a joy to see the person who once felt awkward raising her hands in praise, now boldly praying among family and friends, at her own wedding nonetheless!
My friend met the man she married at that same church too! I remember meeting him when we were all just a bunch of friends. My first impression of him was just as good as it remains today so it is a joy to see this God thing that God has unfolded between them in a totally God kind of way. Their friendship and enjoyment of one another's company is solid and evident. And not many people can boast of having saved themselves for marital intimacy and even kissing, especially after a 6 year relationship.
The wedding was beautiful, the weather was perfect, the music was a unique and lovely jazz and oldies blend. There was no cliche 'wedding march', in fact, everyone danced down the aisle liltingly. The last wedding I've been to was also a gorgeous wedding with more 'trimmings' even (and for another friend I've known just as long), but in stark contrast, the other wedding which was between non-Christians lacked what permeated the atmosphere at this wedding: God.
Everything about this simple ceremony was heavy with meaning and worship. Above all, the 10 minute sermonette given by one of her church elders was absolutely incredible and it left even non-Christians pondering and talking about it afterwards. If I'd had pen and paper I would have honestly made written notes right then and there I think. The message was built upon a popular 'wedding scripture reading' from Genesis, but I've never heard it like I did yesterday and I am sure I wasn't the only one. It probably was the kind of thing you had to be there to get, and I am merely going to jot some notes down from memory in my own way, but may the Holy Spirit open it up to you with the same flood of illumination and understanding that washed over us.
Genesis 2:18-24
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone...”
Marriage is God's idea. Because it was God's idea and not Adam or man's idea, it has more than temporary ramifications and purposes. Marriage, like all else that God does, has eternal purposes attached, above and beyond having someone to live with and all the most obvious lifestyle changes. For persons walking in God's will and in covenant with Him, there are works and purposes ordained by God for an individual's life which cannot come forth until the union with the *God-ordained partner - because He has ordained it so.
"I will make a helper suitable for him."
The word used to describe the type of helper the man needed is the same word used to describe the help of God towards man. God's help to the man, comes in various ways, through the woman God has provided him with. This is the very help of God, therefore the man ought to honor and esteem her input, her counsel, her wisdom, and her perspective. In the maturing, healthy female personality of a woman of God in particular, this input will most definitely be more than emotional commentary. This will provide the very help of God to that man, as she stays in intimacy with God in her own life.
So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The woman comes out of the man, in a figurative sense, in marriage. As time passes during the course of a marriage, the wife a man ends up with has much to do with what is on the inside of himself. His God-ordained leadership role and responsibility in marriage means she will be a reflection of what is on the inside of him, spiritually, in particular.
During the wedding ceremony this exhortation was made in the clearly defined context of covenant. The bride and groom were required to confirm that they understood that they were there to join their lives in covenant and that it would be a lifelong union before God whom they both served. There was nothing frivolous or merely fashionable about it and they were called to note that all they said would be recorded in Heaven before God. Their vows were carefully framed and predicated on Scripture. Their vows included of first priority and necessity that they vow to be a man and woman of God, faithful to ordering their lives by the word of God. They shared vows to be faithful to each other, to love, to cherish, and to support one another. Then there were some specifics:
The Groom vowed that in Christ and upon the foundation of His word, he would lead and protect his family, he vowed that he would use his strength to protect his bride physically and spiritually, and to include her in his whole life. He also vowed to love her as Christ loves the Church and that he would sacrifice himself for her wellbeing. He vowed by the grace of God, and living by the word of God, he would order his life before his wife as a man of God.
The Bride vowed that in Christ and upon the foundation of His word, she would submit to her husband. She vowed to intercede for him, and to respect him. She vowed to support him in all the way God lead him as he walked in obedience to the word of God; and she vowed to walk before and with her husband as a woman of God.
After the vows and exchange of rings, a pronouncement was made that before God and man they had been joined together and would from that point forward, in the spiritual realm, be regarded not as two, but as one before God. The two attending elders of the church laid hands on them and asked God to impart to them in that moment, spiritual resources that they would need to fulfill the vows and to walk uprightly long after the wedding, and to accomplish the eternal purposes of God through their union, for His glory. The official ceremony came to its end and a lovely dinner and reception flowed. The Bride was even serenaded by the Groom who sang Stevie Wonder's Ribbon In The Sky, which was a total hit. There was something heartwarming about his tears as several points during the ceremony and then after his song too. And even though the Bride successfully choked back her tears, several other guests were moved to tears by the whole thing. It was such a wonderful experience to be a part of something so amazing. I thought of the Old Testament prophecies of various judgments on Gentile nations or rebellious Israel, and noticed that often the calamity coming upon them was emphasized by the fact that the "voice of the Bridegroom and of the Bride would cease" in the land. How wonderful it is to remember that this 'God idea' called Marriage is before God such a reason for mirth, celebration and rejoicing, that it can serve to represent a picture of His favor and prosperity upon a nation.
Many of you reading this are already married but I hope this will inspire you to draw ever closer to God and walk with Him in such a way that you and your spouse fulfill the things prepared by God beforehand for you to walk in as a couple (see Eph. 2:10). For many relationships, repairs need to be done before paths can smoothen out again but God is able. Call upon Him and trust Him.
If you are not yet married, (whether courting, engaged, or single), I hope your heart so thrills with expectation for God's plan to be worked out in your life as only He can do it, that you set your heart upon Him above all else and diligently do things in agreement with His word. No one has ever truly trusted God and was made to be ashamed. He is a faithful God. All anyone needs to do is make loving Him the first priority.
* Without entering into a lengthy discussion, I feel it is important to state that it is also my view that God alone can best choose a mate for His own children. Many agree that important decisions should not be entered into with God's specific leading and will to be made clear (where to live, career, finances and other life altering ventures). Far above all those other reasons, the covenant entered into in marriage is of priority with earthly and eternal spiritual consequences. I do not believe that (with human inability to perfectly know the heart, the future, or even understand all present circumstances) God intends for us to use our limited understanding to choose our own mate without consulting Him and getting specific leading. In fact, I believe that for His own people God is, and should be, the only match maker - even though this specific leading is not to be thought to necessarily depend upon 'signs' or mystical occurrences. The key is to stay submitted to God, seeking His will from the heart, and nurturing relationship with Him so that one knows His leading. This leading will always be in agreement with His word, His ways, His Spirit, and His peace.
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