Love does not insist on its own way

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, ESV

Today's post will be the fifth in a mini series on the attributes of love, based on 1 Corinthians 13. As I continue with this little study, it becomes increasingly clear that all of these attributes have one common thread running through them: the person who loves is focused on others (not self). Before continuing, be sure to catch up with earlier posts if you haven't already:
1st - Love is patient
2nd - Love is kind
3rd - Love does not envy
4th - Love does not boast; it is not arrogant or rude

Love does not insist on its own way

A person who walks in love is a person who puts others first. Such a person looks out for the interests of others. The New King James version of the phrase we are looking at today says that love "does not seek its own." The comparison between the translations is helpful.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 
Philippians 2:1-4

Love is submissive in its nature because it gives place and preeminence to others. It is by no means wimpy, but it is humble. These are qualities that will even be misunderstood among immature believers. The apostle Paul faced this in his day and he wrote at length to address this misconception in his second letter to the Corinthians (see 2 Corinthians 10-13). His love, his humility, and patience were compared to the manner of others who presented themselves as apostles in a more demanding and forceful manner, and who were, in fact, taking advantage of the people. Paul understood that the authority given by God was not so that he would 'seek his own' but "for edification and not for destruction" of others (see 2 Corinthians 13:9-10; 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9). 

We will also likely be misunderstood by others as we demonstrate this attribute of love. For example, a submissive wife is commonly viewed by worldly outsiders as a 'doormat' to be pitied, but the godly man who lives with that woman knows that her submission adds strength to the union. She grows in unique virtues. It does not dilute her personality, rather it enhances it. Similarly, the man who is submissive to the Lord, to his brothers in the faith, and to God-appointed authorities only increases in usefulness to the service of God and His people. He is more likely to avoid the danger of pride and to maintain a teachable spirit. Godly submission - whether in the context of marriage, ministry, or in general interaction with others - pleases God, preserves peace, increases effectiveness, and affords protection to relationships. Love does not insist on its own way nor seek its own.