March 31, 2010

Epiphany: Love & Peafowl

I was sitting in the beautiful reception dining room at a friend's wedding in June a few years ago, stared out the glass window, saw a pair of peafowl and had an epiphany about relationships and pursuit.

Epiphany -
a comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization; a sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something.
The wedding (ceremony and reception) was held at a resort in the north of the island. It is just beautiful there. For some reason, in addition to the ocean as a natural backdrop, incredible landscaping and design, the owners felt they needed a resident pair of peacocks to complete the ambience.

So there I was sitting around a table near a window and happened to see this pretty peacock and his mate right outside. I think they were looking in on the reception from behind the glass. They got the attention of everyone at my table and as we tried to figure out if they were male or female, we had a brief discussion of animal behaviour and concluded that males are always the more decorated ones, for the purpose of attracting and pursuing and winning a mate (See picture inset).

Zap. Lightbulb moment. Whatever you call it. There came my epiphany.

"The peacock has some of the brightest feathers and one the most impressive courting displays of any bird in the world. The Indian peacock has very flashy plumage, with a bright blue head and neck, but the peahen is a drab mottled brown in comparison. The male needs his bright feathers to attract a mate...Male and female green peafowl have similar coloration, with green feathers on the head and neck, but the peahen's colors are not as vibrant as the peacock's."
[Source: San Diego Zoo. I have learnt a lot about these peafowl - including the fact that only the males should be called peacocks!!!]

Now, humans are not animals and we cannot just apply all the rules and mores of the animal kingdom to the human race. But I began to think of the scriptures and certain male-female relationships outlined there, and they were in synchrony. The male was expected to choose a wife and marry her. All the seeking, courting, arranging (with her family) was ultimately his responsibility. He really did have to win her (or her parents, in that day) with his heart, his wealth or both. The reason for which he succeeded and was selected is another matter and would say more about the woman (or her family), but that is outside the scope of this post. My point is he really did have to pursue her to acquire her.

In considering this alongside the God-appointed leadership role men have been given in marriage and otherwise, the core principle this scenario contains could not have just been an old eastern tradition. A man's pursuit would be evidence of his desire. He did not have feathery plumage but what he had was put on display, evidence of his worthiness, what he had to provide and how much he was willing to take on this responsibility of caring for the chosen woman. Even Jesus 'follows' this principle.
God and His Son, Jesus Christ sought out His bride. If God hadn't chosen and pursued us, we would not have come looking for Him. And why does He pursue? Because He desires a relationship with us. He loves us. Even when we mess up. He pursues us. Even though we've messed up. For some reason, He wants us in His life.

Now, this is not meant to be a comprehensive article and I cannot cover the both sides and all the possible scenarios. Certainly, a man cannot be expected to pursue a woman forever no matter how he may love her, if she refuses him. Certainly a woman may reciprocate. However, there's just something really sweet about being chosen. And women should be the one to be chosen after God has approved ;)
P.S. I've read that, 'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'
P.P.S. Peacocks are mentioned in the Bible as one of the most precious items brought from Asia by King Solomon's ships.

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