(1st) Healing the heart: The wounds fill up
(2nd) Healing the heart: Intended evil, meant for good
(3rd) Healing the heart: Letting go of 'Why?'
(4th) Healing the heart: Wound care (1)
(5th) Healing the heart: Wound care (2)
(6th) Healing the heart: Wound care (3)
The purpose of this series has been to encourage you to commit yourself to letting God heal your heart in such a way that you will survive beyond functionality and moments of happiness, but rather go on to come out better than before, with nothing of your experience wasted. Today's post will combine some additional Do's (such as we have been discussing until now) with some Don'ts that can make all the difference during that process.
DOs
Cry
Tears are a natural human expression and reaction to pain or sadness. I haven't researched this recently but in the past I've heard it reported that the composition of our tears of sadness is different from tears of joy. Our body knows the difference and it's good to cry those hurting tears out. I would encourage you to pour them out alongside your prayers to God for healing and His help.
Journaling
Honest journaling is another way to pour your heart out and it gives you the opportunity to chart your progress or view your strengths and weaknesses so that you can adjust your behaviors and methods of dealing with things. This can take many forms depending on what kind of person you are and what you need. You may want to record your daily thoughts and feelings with no specific emphasis. You may want to record what you hear from God and what stands out to you in a special way from your times of Bible reading, prayer, listening to teaching/sermons etc. You may want to record only what you're learning from your situation, or answered prayers with thanksgiving.
Thought Management
Whatever the reason for your wounded heart, you are going to have lots of thoughts about it, whether you are dealing with memories or an ongoing situation that's still unfolding. Virtually everything else you see, hear, think, say will either improve your condition or worsen it - and that includes your interactions with people and things. Make a conscientious effort to seek out the things that will build you up (we talked about most of the significant ones in previous posts), and pull yourself back to these things when you find yourself drifting. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).
This takes me right to a list of Don'ts....
DON'TS
Don't ever entertain negative emotions and thoughts
These include self pity, bitterness, malice, self-deprecating thoughts etc. (Note: 'Sadness' is not included in this list of negative emotions, but rather thoughts and feelings that are contrary to God's truth and which drag you down into feelings of further self-inflicted pain and hopelessness; or which tempt you to doubt God's word, His goodness, His care and His love for you). Be intentional and wise about choosing the movies you watch, the music you listen to, the books you read. All of these can easily arouse negative emotions and painful memories, and many will give or imply the wrong 'solutions'.
Don't try worldly 'quick fixes'
These 'fixes' include alcohol, drugs, revelry, occult involvement (and any other behavior that is based on casting away self-control and biblical morality) as well as attempts to inflict pain on yourself to relieve the pain of your wounds. There are no quick fixes when it comes to healing a wounded heart, but the solutions which the world offers are temporary, deceptive, and destructive to your heart and your soul for eternity - they invite you to partake of the temporary pleasures of sin or to seek solace in idols. A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls (Proverbs 25:28). Many of these behaviors will give place to demonic involvement in your life and create worse problems, ensnaring you in a destructive lifestyle. Avoid these snares, run from them, turn around now if necessary. As Lynn Martin Cowell says, "Forgiveness is free, healing isn't." With God everything is possible and He is able and willing to set you free and make you whole, but it's usually going to mean a more difficult and costly road to recovery (for you - not God) from these compounded problems.
Don't have intimate associations or conversations with anyone where spiritual, emotional or sexual compromise or reproach may arise out of these interactions.
You may have lots that you want to pour out, but when your emotions are not the healthiest and your heart is wounded you already have a breached 'wall' to repair and you are more vulnerable than ever to old and new temptations. Your enemy, the devil, will seek to use this opportune time to overtake you. Moreover, depending on what you are going through, your mind and emotions will be clamoring for comfort or affirmation. For example, many rebound relationships and sexually immoral affairs are built on unhealthy attractions, and the thrill of sinful pleasures (another worldly quick fix) which people choose during this period of increased vulnerability. Make the choice not to tempt yourself or put yourself in the way of temptations even if you've never felt yourself to be particularly susceptible to any one of these. Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).
My next post will also be the final post in this series. Please stay with me as I hope to encourage you to give God the opportunity to heal you way down deep. So deep that He not only brings you out whole, but 'improved' and able to help others by sharing with them with the wisdom, faith, and comfort He has worked in your own life.
This is the first post in a series called Healing the Heart. You can find a link to all the posts in the sidebar under labels, or just click here. If using this link be sure to read from the bottom up because they were posted in a specific order to be most useful to you!
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