Prayer and The God-Planned Life

God has continued to really pour out grace on me to enable me to go after Him with more discipline in extended times of prayer & intercession. It is a matter of discipline right now and I am learning that I don't have to wait till it's easier before I get to enjoy the benefits of just spending time with Him, e.g. more sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, more desire to please Him, overwhelming desire to be holy and walking His way, and a better attitude towards things that would usually irritate me. That is pretty gracious and kind of Him.

I have been asking Him to teach me more about intercession and was led to an amazing web-find called Path 2 Prayer and in particular, the Intercessory Prayer page. The site is maintained by Dan Augsburger who also has sermons and articles on the page. It is an overwhelming resource site utilizing many of the classic works of faithful Christians of the past. They really did leave gems for us - once we can get past the older forms of the English language and expressions.

Anyway, I made that particular page my new home page for a while and have been listening and re-listening Dan's Prevailing Prayer series (January 2009). It is highly recommended and well organized series for a good foundational lesson on prayer, and was especially motivating because of the first hand testimonies of answered prayer. What comes through loud and clear is that God does in fact answer prayer that agrees with His word and fulfills His conditions. He stresses that we ought to pray expecting answers, even when we have to press on and persist for a while. Praying as if we're making a gamble or hoping to get lucky is self-defeating as it's already missing the ingredient of faith.

As I said, this website is replete with resources on various topics regarding prayer and Christian life. I came across a wonderful excerpt called The God-Planned Life by James McConkey from Life Talks (1911). It is long but so good. The significance to me hinged on the fact that God had to remind me a few weeks back in May, that He has a specific plan for my life. Ok. I know. I should have known that. I did...I used to. But it seems I forgot somewhere and entered into a lot of striving and grasping to make things work. This was after spiralling in the last couple years through a lot of mistakes and disappointment, and generally feeling that I'd fallen back so far from my pursuit of Him that I must have disqualified myself from His plans.

Well, He does have a plan. And He still has a plan for me. I didn't even know I had forgotten until He reminded me. Just the thought was so life-infusing to me that I found myself trying to tell my girl friend at the movies while we sat there just before the movie started. Needless to say, she seemed surprised that this was a major 'revelation' to me!

I want to include an excerpt here from McConkey here which will be more of a caveat for readers. There are other points in his writing that brings it all together in a motivating and hope-inspiring way - no matter how far you've fallen or how old you are, God has a plan. You really should go here and read the whole thing:

"...created in Christ Jesus unto good works,
which God hath before ordained
that we should walk in them." –Ephesians 2:10


A Man May Fail to Enter Into God’s Plan For His Life

Among the curiosities of a little fishing village on the Great Lakes where we were summering was a pair of captive eagles. They had been captured when but two weeks old and confined in a large room-like cage. Year after year the eaglets grew, until they were magnificent specimens of their kind, stretching six feet from tip to tip of wings. One summer when we came back for our usual vacation, the eagles were missing. Inquiring of the owner as to their disappearance, this story came to us. The owner had left the village for a prolonged fishing trip out in the lake. While he was absent, some mischievous boys opened the door of the cage and gave the great birds their liberty. At once they endeavoured to escape. But kept in captivity from their earliest eaglet days, they had never learned to fly. They seemed to realize that God had meant them to be more than mere earthlings. After all these weary years the instinct for the sky and the heavens still smoldered in their hearts. And most desperately did they strive to exercise it. They floundered about upon the village green. They struggled, fell, and beat their wings in piteous efforts to rise into the airy freedom of their God-appointed destiny. But all in vain. One of them, essaying to fly across a small stream, fell helpless into the water and had to be rescued from drowning. The other, after a succession of desperate and humiliating failures, managed to attain to the lower-most limb of a nearby tree. Thence he was shot to death by the hand of a cruel boy. His mate soon shared the same hapless fate. And the simple tragedy of their hampered lives came to an end.

Often since has come to us the tragic lesson of the imprisoned eagles. God had designed for these kingly birds a noble inheritance of freedom. It was theirs to pierce in royal flights the very eye of the midday sun. It was theirs to nest in lofty crags where never foot of man had trod. It was theirs to break with unwearying pinion the storms and tempests of mid-heaven. A princely heritage indeed was theirs. But the cruelty of man had hopelessly shut them out from it. And instead of the limitless liberty planned for them had come captivity, helplessness, humiliation and death. Even these birds of the air missed God’s great plan for their lives. Much more may the sons of men.

Is not this the very thing of which Paul speaks when he says, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure”? What are these inner voices which, if we heed not, cease? What are these visions which, if we follow not, fade? What are these yearnings to be all for Christ which, if we embody not in action, die? What are they but the living God working in us to will and to do the life work which He has planned for us from all eternity? And it is this which you are called upon to “work out.” Work it out in love. Work it out in daily, faithful ministry. Work it out as God works in you. But more than that – you may miss it. You may fall short of God’s perfect plan for your life. Therefore, work it out with fear and trembling! Searching words are these – words of warning, words of tender admonition. That blessed life of witnessing, service and fruit bearing which God has planned for you in Christ Jesus from all eternity--work it out with trembling. Trembling – lest the god of this world blind you to the vision of service which God is ever holding before you. Trembling – lest the low standard of life fellow-Christians about you lead you to drop yours to a like groveling level. Trembling – lest some little circle in the dark ends of the earth should fail of the giving, the praying or the going which God has long since planned for you. Trembling – lest the voices of worldly pleasure and ambition dull and deafen your ears to the one voice which is ever whispering – “Follow thou me: follow thou me.”

'Sorry' can make your world go wrong

A lot of Christians are daily and weekly dabbling in the enemy's craft and camp even though they know better - in fact, I would like to specifically refer to those who already have knowledge of good and evil since they place themselves in the most grave danger. These Christians assume that they can always say 'Sorry' to God afterward (and they expect to, even before they do), but for the moment they just want to go along with the tide, stem the pinpricks of conscience and have some 'me time.'

Sadly, it's very easy to continue in this dangerous way when all such a person ever seems to suffer is a moment of 'regret' or 'feeling bad.' These, they assume are the actual consequences for their sin and that's why saying 'Sorry' to God is all that needs be done - before the next choice to disobey and displease God. This is the extent to which their feeling of 'conviction' goes after sinning. They assume that the subsequent harvest resulting from their moments of sowing to the flesh will be wiped out with the word, 'Sorry'. What these Christians don't usually see is that the crop of rebellion and hardheartedness is growing, in seedling form, under the soil of their heart.

“And of whom have you been afraid, or feared,
That you have lied
And not remembered Me,
Nor taken it to your heart?
Is it not because I have held My peace from of old
That you do not fear Me?"
Isaiah 57:11

God sees through this. He sees right through the heart of such a person. Doubtless, their 'Sorry' comes before Him with some tears, bad feelings and even recital of Scripture. But they are not so repentant that they long for a steadfast heart towards Him, nor do they actually reject the 'pleasures of sin.'

They do not fear Him.

God merely holds His peace many times (as He tells us in Isaiah 57:11), and we think that the consequences of willful disobedience have been averted.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
Galatians 6:7-8

There is no partiality with God. One person's case is not so special that He will deal differently with them from what He has already stated in His word. No, He is no respecter of persons. Meditating on this truth may be the first step for us to grow in a true fear of God. It is a fear of God that motivates us to shun evil.

Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil? And still he holds fast to his integrity, although you incited Me against him, to destroy him without cause.”
Job 2:3

It is a true fear of God that lays hold of the grace of God, by which we are able to deny ungodliness and to live holy and upright lives in this world as we wait for His appearing.

Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
2 Timothy 2:19

Churchified

I did not grow up in church. I grew up with church-going parents. A fine, godly mother, who would sing hymns to my little brother and I during our days with her at home. No matter what she sang, we would always end by pleading for an extra treat: her rendition of "Whiter than the snow, whiter than the snow; Wash me in the Blood of the Lamb and I shall be whiter than snow." I don't think we even knew what snow was, but this curious song captured us. My father has been dramatically transformed over the course of several years, and even more noticeably in the past three years. He is nothing like the father I knew back then. Back then, he was a church-going pharisee, cold, harsh and utterly legalistic. Unfortunately all my siblings and I rebelled because we did not want to be like him. God got a hold of me from a young age though.

I was eight years old when I asked Jesus to save me and from that time my life began to be transformed. Nevertheless, I was a lone ranger. I stopped going to the church my parents attended at ten years old and swore I would never go back because of the deadness of the religion that I perceived. Before that I had earnestly wanted to be baptized there but when I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents, they thought I was too young and did not believe I could be saved or understand the gospel of salvation. Perhaps this was the key motivator behind my pledge never to return to their church.

With no teachers, no Christian influences, no church, no anything for structure, I entered my pre-teen and teenage years. I was given a bible (they were superfluous at my house) and I read it. A lot. I used to 'steal' hymn books from my father's book case and invent melodies so that I could sing the words. I was ridiculed by my older siblings...But God always provides. I found books in my father's book case. Autobiographies of great Christians of the past, some theology books, some devotionals. I read those books, secretly. And re-read some of those books over the intervening years. I longed for Christians to discuss things with, but eventually, I grew used to being alone. Reading my bible. Reading books. Asking God questions. And drifting some. Always wanting God, but having the world pull at me, friends pull at me and no Christian structure in my life.

I did not notice what God had been doing in me during the last of my teenage years, but it became evident when I was twenty years old. With adult understanding, with all my human need, I surrendered my life, lock, stock and barrel to the Living God. I wanted to be poured out for Him. And then a new desire for Christian company started growing in me. I started earnestly praying about a church to attend. I tried one. Nope. I got discouraged. My older siblings were no longer laughing, but they were watching me with some fear. I was changing before their eyes. Eventually, one of them would ask me about what church they could attend. Then God sent help again. A strategically positioned, older Christian woman I met at university. Upon her second discussion with me, she asked me if I had been attending church and gave me a list of six churches I should check out and she would help to provide guidance if I had questions.

Eventually I was in church. I was now a bonafide church goer, but also a worshipper of God in spirit and in truth. I finally got baptized. I remember everything significant about that day, morning till night. I learned very many hard lessons about church life. That it wasn't as perfect as it should be. That it wasn't as 'safe' as I expected. Because no one in church is perfect, because not everyone in church is 'safe'...but God kept me. Four years later in another crucible of 'church politics' affliction, when I had just about had it with people and needed God, He taught me that a Christian wasn't meant to walk alone, apart from others of the same precious faith. It was a true humbling, complete with tears on my part. It was a hard message for me.

A few more years have passed since then. I am now completely convinced that a Christian cannot successfully walk alone, not by choice. And though it can be a hard, risky venture to step out there and embrace the life of the church, let me encourage you: God will keep you personally. God doesn't take His hand and One-to-one interest from us just because we got involved in a church with others. Suddenly it's so clear to me that many of my prayers are answered by Him through the care, the intercession, the encouragement of other Christians. During some of the most difficult times of my life, feeling alone, feeling bereft of good judgment and asking God to send 'help', my phone would ring. Someone on the other end would say, 'God just put you on my heart...'

My circle of friends and trusted Christian believers is still very small, but it exists and I am so thankful. God cares for me. God thinks of me. God gives me a gift in the life of fellow-disciples of Jesus Christ. I've been churchified. I proceed prayerfully. I look forward to church tomorrow. I hope you do too.

God is for me

You've probably all heard the popular Scripture verse, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" That's a wonderful promise and sure encouragement that I hold on to daily, but that's not what I wanted to talk about today - gotcha didn't I?  I wanted to share an incident which reminded me that there are some 'Christians' who really believe that God is their heavenly butler and oh boy, what a good God that makes Him in their eyes. Yeppers, God is 'for' them - He exists to please them.

I received a friend request on Facebook recently. I noted that this person and I had one mutual friend but as is my custom, I peruse what I can of a total stranger's profile, wall, posts and pages to get a sense of what type of person is sending me a request. I was shocked to read multiple status messages which said something like,

 "God is just blessing me so much! Because of Him I'm going to be a singer, recording artist, minister and dancer. He does so much for me!"

I was taken aback. Surely I read it 'wrong'. So I read it again. Then I read further down the Wall and there was more....Sadly, the only thing that jumped out at me, was "I have a heavenly butler! I have a heavenly butler!"

I wonder, did this person recently receive a false prophetic word concerning God's 'plan for their life'? God can surely reveal parts of His will for our lives to give us instruction and encouragement, but true prophecy draws one to the Giver of the gifts, the Source of the 'word', the heart of the Holy One. This may begin with repentance, or it may mean drawing even closer, but it never comes to give one (especially an immature believer) 'pie-in-the-sky' dreams of grandeur and glory.

Be careful how you hear. Not everyone is speaking by the Spirit of God.

Godly sorrow

This post was prompted by a little Facebook interaction there when someone posted this verse:

2 Corinthians 7:10-11 (NKJV)

 ¹⁰For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. ¹¹ For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter. 

What a great text with clear guidelines so we can tell whether the sorrow we feel is actually towards true repentance (changed attitude of mind and heart leading to changed behavior which conforms to the ways of God) or whether we are just feeling sorry for a particular consequence, sorry for being caught, sorry because we feel bad:

• diligence
• transparency
• indignation
• fear
• vehement desire
• zeal

We need to use this checklist to assess 'sorrow' over sins we've committed. How encouraging to note that this type of godly sorrow leads to salvation! And if you realize you don't truly hate your sin as you should, that you're open to committing it again (and saying 'sorry' again), then cry out to God for a repentant heart of godly sorrow. Seek His ways, His mind, His holiness and He will answer!

Maranatha!

Maranatha is an Aramaic word that means, "The Lord is coming" or "Come, O Lord." According to my research, it was a popular greeting among the early Church during the time of intense persecution they endured under Roman rule. It reminded them that the suffering they experienced for the sake of His name would one day end with His appearing.

⁶ Then he said to me, “These words are faithful and true.” And the Lord God of the holy prophets sent His angel to show His servants the things which must shortly take place.
⁷ “Behold, I am coming quickly! Blessed is he who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.”
⁸ Now I, John, saw and heard these things. And when I heard and saw, I fell down to worship before the feet of the angel who showed me these things.
⁹ Then he said to me, “See that you do not do that. For I am your fellow servant, and of your brethren the prophets, and of those who keep the words of this book. Worship God.” ¹⁰ And he said to me, “Do not seal the words of the prophecy of this book, for the time is at hand. ¹¹ He who is unjust, let him be unjust still; he who is filthy, let him be filthy still; he who is righteous, let him be righteous still; he who is holy, let him be holy still.”   
¹² “And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work. ¹³ I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.”
¹⁴ Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. ¹⁵ But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie.
¹⁶ “I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star.”
¹⁷ And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.

(Revelation 22:6-17, New King James Version)

Every servant of God who is in touch with Him through prayer and His word knows that we are in the days before the return of the King. The daily catastrophic and lamentable news headlines of mankind's rebellion, arrogance and railing against God, also brings me the joy of knowing that His coming is nearer than when we first believed. I want Him to come. I want Him to come quickly.

But there is a warning here. In every place where the return of the Lord is discussed in Scripture, God also places a warning that we be diligent to make ourselves ready. It is not those who want Him to return who are necessarily ready. Those who are ready are those whose garments are without spot and wrinkle, blemish or any such thing. Those who are ready are those who are walking in the righteousness of Christ and in the grace which teaches them to deny ungodliness. They are walking with God in daily obedience.

¹⁰But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.

 ¹¹Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, ¹² waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn! ¹³But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. ¹⁴ Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. ¹⁵And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, ¹⁶as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures. ¹⁷You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. ¹⁸But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
(2 Peter 3: 10-18, ESV)

Some people have a false peace concerning His coming. They seem to believe that their profession of faith counts on that Day without regard to their many works which are clearly marked by their unbelief and their disobedience. Being able to cry, "Lord, Lord" does not matter on that Day. True faith is evidenced by a changed life, an obedient life, a holy life which produces works of the same kind.

Even so, Maranatha! Lord Jesus, Come!

Glorious Grace

If you've ever wanted a clearer picture of what Scripture phrases such as "to the praise of His glorious grace" actually means, or how grace causes thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God [see verse], Kevin Kubik's life is another dramatic example...And I'm so thankful that I get to serve this God.

His insatiable need for drugs pushed him over the edge. 'I got this bright idea to grab a jigsaw and cut off one of my fingers...'


Check out CBN.com for more inspiring media

God does miracles of healing too

I suddenly found myself that morning with a severe pain at the base of my neck. It felt like I had suffered some type of physical trauma, perhaps as one might feel in a car accident. I could not recall any incident that would have caused it. I had suffered two severe cases of wry neck [torticollis] as a child so although the pain was excruciating it did not alarm me. I winced my way through the day, trying not to turn my head at all, walking around with my neck encircled by my own hands as a makeshift brace. I suppose I thought it would just go away and it never once even crossed my mind to pray about it. But that night as I tried to go to bed, it was impossible. There was no pillow that could help. I could not be careful enough. I could not lay on my back. I could not lay on my side. Every single movement had an effect on my spine and neck and the sheer weight of my head in a horizontal position was unbearable. After an entire day of pain the condition was not improved. I could not even alleviate it enough to lay down to sleep. I realized I was in a real dilemma. I could not go to sleep. But if I did not go to sleep, there was no way that my fatigued body could stay awake to keep my neck in a pin straight, upright position. This was an impossibility to me. I was finally desperate enough to remember to pray.

I didn't pray right away. I had been teaching a little bible study at church and we were at that time in a series on Prayer and the Word of God. I spent some time pondering out loud before God every incident I could recall in the Gospels where Jesus healed people. I was amazed anew. There was no time that someone came to Him with faith that He could heal them, without being healed. I told Him that's what I saw in His word. It had just been a matter of minutes, but my faith was suddenly buoyed. He would heal me if I had faith for it. And why shouldn't I have faith for it? I was sure of God's character as I pondered His ways in the Gospel accounts.

I prayed something like this:
"Lord, I see in Your word that no  one who ever came to Jesus with faith was turned away unhealed. You have power to do this. You are willing to do this. Lord, Your word says, You "send Your word and heal" [see Psalm 107:20], therefore I ask You to send Your word into my neck and heal...actually Lord, in the name of Jesus, I send Your word and heal me [see Mark 16:17,18]! I thank You for doing it in Jesus' name." My boldness surprised me.

In that very moment, all pain vanished. I checked. I was pain free. No traces, no stiffness, no little twinge of aching. Nothing at all. I kid you not.

I thanked God and fell asleep quickly.

The next Sunday at church I testified before the bible study class I was teaching. My experience became an example of answered prayer which we had been speaking so much about. It inspired amazement among everyone,  to the glory of God! He had not only taught me, but taught me so that I could teach others.

The little prayer I prayed that night may not have been an orthodox 'prayer for healing,' but it looked fully to God, was built upon the premise of His word and I expected it to be answered only for Christ's sake. My heart was filled with faith that rose up in that instant as I pondered the healing miracles of Christ in the word of God. And just like He did back then, God answered my faith with His healing power.

Then Jesus answered her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly.
Matthew 15:28 ESV

Look at what the LORD has done!

God has done too much for me in my short and tumultuous life to be silent about - especially when there is such a wide forum for His praise at my fingertips! This is another post specifically intended to give God thanks for the steadfast love and abundant mercy He's poured out on me. It is my 'testimony time' of sorts. It is my hope that you will  marvel at His excellencies and be stirred to trust in Him, and His word, more than ever before.

Nothing is too hard for the LORD (not even the consequences of my foolishness)

I had graduated from university and began working. I was focused on paying other big bills I'd committed to and had let my student loan slide for a while. Under the terms of the loan, I was exempt from starting to make repayments for at least two years. That time was up and in my negligence, though I had made a few relatively 'small' payments I had forgotten about it for the most part. Until the notifications started coming in the mail. In fact, I was notified that I would be required to go into the bank to "convert" the loan. I did not understand what that meant. My father insisted I didn't have to. He understood how loans worked because that's how he and my mom built our house. In fact the same bank was always offering him more credit based on his superb track record for repayment. I showed him the notice and he still insisted I didn't have to. My father was my guarantor who co-signed for me. His assets were my loan collateral. I was freaking out. He was not budging and refused to waste time to go with me to the bank. I thought he would need to be there.

I psyched myself up and went to the bank on my own. I waited for a very, very, very long time. Finally when it was my turn, I was told that I needed to go with my guarantor to the branch where the loan was made. I was miffed but returned home to let my father know he was wrong. I was getting anxious and I started praying earnestly to God to work it out.

I took time off work again and met up with my father to go to the bank. After a very, very, very long wait - in fact we arrived in the morning and were attended to near to the closing time - our number was called. My father was irritated and kept complaining about his day being wasted. We sat down with the loan officer assigned to us and he called up the records. My father asked about this new term, 'conversion' and the officer told us that it was a new procedure. Student loans which were granted with special terms and reduced interest until now, would now be required to be converted to the terms and conditions of a commercial loan. This was a new system the bank came up with to increase profits because the government had instituted free university education for all citizens after I graduated. No longer was the bank getting an influx of new undergraduates needing student loans. When calculations were made, my new debt amounted to twice as much as I had borrowed and the interest rate was absurd. After my father got over the initial shock, he began to rant and rave. His loud talk about how absurd this was drew stares from all around. I tried to quiet him without success. I was faced with my irresponsibility because I had the means all along to repay the initial principal amount. My father made talk of this loudly and openly too. I was humiliated. And as he went on and on and on, I broke down. The loans officer actually felt sorry for me and tried to quiet my father. He spoke kindly to me. My father told them he would come back to see him after he had talked with my mom (he was reluctantly deliberating whether they should give me the amount from their savings so that I would not go into this many thousand of dollars of debt). As we left, me choking back tears and enraged at my father for his humiliating behavior, the stares and whispers of everyone on that side of the department floor was too much. When we got outside, I didn't say a word to my father. I just kept walking.

I was brimming with anger like I very rarely experience. I had never had an experience like that in my life. Although my father had subjected my siblings and I to many embarrassing experiences in our childhood, this was too much. And I was no longer a child. I called my mother and managed not to break down into tears on the phone. I told her I wanted nothing to do with him again. That I would never ever go anywhere with him again. That he had just ranted and raved in the bank and humiliated me for no good reason. That he had gone on and on and made us (me) the talk of the bank. My mother could tell from my voice that it was serious and she tried to console me down. "You know he doesn't know how to talk to people when he gets upset. Don't bother about that. Try not to pay attention." I was angry at my father, not at God, but I wondered, LORD why did you let me go through that?

My father had halted the conversion process and signing of papers by asking the loan officer if he could see him another day but I still didn't know what would happen.  I just continued to pray...and dread having to go back to the bank. Daily. Earnestly. And yes, I had to confess to God that it was my own negligence that had got me into this mess.

One day I came home from work and mom told me that my father had gone back to the bank, alone. He asked to the see the same loan officer. The 'loan officer' told my father that he was in fact the Manager of the loans department. Yes, I was shocked too. He had just been assisting the other staff on a busy day when we had been there before. He remembered the previous meeting well and he clearly still felt compassion for me and the humiliation I had endured. He had lowered his voice and told my father that, on the condition that he would never disclose it to anyone (he said he could lose his job), he would let my father know that the conversion was a new bank policy but it was not legally binding. Customers did not know that of course. He told my father to leave without converting the loan. And so he did.

It was a jaw dropper for me. God had fixed it in the most unlikely way. My debt now stood at the remainder of the principal amount. God had rescued me from the consequences of my own foolishness. Not in the way I expected, but definitely so that I learned a lesson, and grew in dependence upon Him in situations where there is no plan B.

And that wasn't all He did. I had continued to pray because I was now eager to repay the loan and get it off the bank's records. I did not have savings to cover it. I prayed some more. Just about one or two weeks later my mom received a check for repayment of a loan she had made to my older sister and her husband quite some time before. She decided to lend me the money she had received to repay the entire amount of my loan. I would now only have to repay my mom for the amount of my student loan balance, in whatever time I could, at no interest. Wow. I used this grace offered me and set about right away to repay my mom a fixed monthly amount when I received my salary.

I've thought on this entire experience many times since then and sometimes I even laugh. I laugh with sheer amazement at how God worked this out. How he turned my father's ultra-humiliating outburst for good. How he used it to stir compassion in the bank manager's heart. How, in fact, he had even arranged so that the long wait on the busy day when we first visited, made it necessary for the manager to assist the customers - not just a loan officer as we had thought. How he had ordered every minute of that day at the bank so that our number took us to that particular desk to be attended to. How he had brought the repayment check for an entirely different loan just at the right time to my mom, and moved her heart to lend it to me. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to the LORD. He rebukes, he teaches, he forgives, he helps us. He always comes through for those who trust in Him, who make their petitions before Him earnestly and give Him no rest.

But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
say continually, "Great is the LORD!"
As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!
Psalm 40:16,17

Look at what the LORD has done!

God has done too much for me in my short and tumultuous life to be silent about - especially when there is such a wide forum for His praise at my fingertips! This is another post specifically intended to give God thanks for the steadfast love and abundant mercy He's poured out on me. It is my 'testimony time' of sorts. It is my hope that you will  marvel at His excellencies and be stirred to trust in Him, and His word, more than ever before.

The God who acts for those who wait on Him

A few years ago I was in need of a job. I was fresh out of university and hadn't been working for the last two years of my studies. I needed to get back on track, earn money and stop being a burden to my parents. My mom has always been a stay at home mom and wife, and my dad had just been retired for a few months and quite frankly, looked stressed and uncertain about this new stage of his life. I needed a job!

I had been fasting weekly for some time. Not about a job. I was just seeking more of God sincerely and the outworking of my life in Him. I would fast on Wednesdays, sometimes attending 'fast and prayer' services with a small group on the porch of a friend's pastor's home. Sometimes I couldn't attend, but I fasted at home, just me and the Lord together. One Wednesday, I had a strong, unexpected desire to go to a particular government ministry which someone had been urging me to visit for quite some time. I resisted it. After all, this was my special morning where I spent time seeking God, seeking to get closer.  The urge persisted. And even though at that time I didn't know I 'heard' the voice of the Lord much, I went with this urge. I didn't feel convicted, I prayed about it and trusted.

I still remember looking all snazzy and super professional in a suit that was completed with a hot pink pencil skirt. I was probably a vision of professional corporate confidence. I got to the building, got to the relevant office and went to the receptionist. She promptly handed me a typed list of all the documents I would need to bring back with me, obviously used to having to do this part. I looked at it and shocked her when I told her that I had all of it with me right then (another God-thing). Just then, a guy walked out to the front, he saw me, came over to talk to me. I had no idea I was talking to the Head of the department's 'right hand' person. He inquired as to why I was there. He found out I had all my documents and without further ado he told me to come with him (bypassing all of the usual procedures as I later found out). Within minutes I was talking to the department's head and in under 10 minutes, I was being asked, "So when do you want to start, today or tomorrow?"

I started at my new job the next day. Although I can clearly trace a pattern of hard lessons and growth from each job I've had before and since that time, this job remains the place in which I had the most obvious 'fruit' for God. I spoke to people almost daily about Jesus. It seemed that God brought them to me, I didn't even have to go looking. He would put words in my mouth to encourage, to counsel, to caution. God came through for me again. He had provided again. He had stretched my faith again. He had shown Himself faithful again.

For since the beginning of the world
Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, 
Nor has the eye seen any God besides You, 
Who acts for the one who waits for Him. 
Isaiah 64:4, NKJV

Look at what the LORD has done!

God has done too much for me in my short and tumultuous life to be silent about - especially when there is such a wide forum for His praise at my fingertips! This is another post specifically intended to give God thanks for the steadfast love and abundant mercy He's poured out on me. It is my 'testimony time' of sorts. It is my hope that you will  marvel at His excellencies and be stirred to trust in Him, and His word, more than ever before.

Liar, liar

But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet. But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God." When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. And great fear came upon all who heard of it.
Acts 5:1-5

The Church of Jesus Christ was brand new and thriving. Love was being lived out. The people had their perspective shifted to eternal things and thought it nothing to be sharing the financial proceeds that came from the whole sale of entire properties and possessions. It had not been commanded them, they just wanted to give in this super-generous way. Then along came Ananias and Sapphira. They were different from the others who were giving. Their whole hearts were not in it, but perhaps not to be outdone, perhaps not to be apparent as the only one still owning their property, perhaps for their reputation to grow in the community, they thought they could sell a piece of property and bring some of the proceeds. That was not the problem according to verse 4. The sin lay in the fact that they had agreed together to purposefully misrepresent the amount they brought so that it appeared to be the full price of the property. They did not even have to say a word, but in this act, with their heart's motive, they had lied to God and to the Holy Spirit. And both paid for it with their lives and became a warning and example to the members of the Church.

As a teenager I lied to my parents a lot in this way. I would present enough truth and leave out enough truth to misrepresent my actions to my parents. They knew I was going to sleepover at a friend's house. They didn't know we also planned beforehand to go to the movies (which I was forbidden from), and they certainly didn't know that although I'd left home fully clothed, that evening I was going to lose my shirt and be found wearing a tank top that ended above my belly button. When I came home, my tales of what we did and how we spent our time was just as edited as the first round of conversation, but at no time did I ever speak a false word directly.

Any presentation is dishonest, deceptive and lying when the motive and spirit of that act/word is to mislead someone, for the reason that one's acts or words are not upright before God. As a Christian, truth must be a defining characteristic of our life. Be careful to cultivate truth in your inward parts!

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